Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love means never having to say Happy Valentine's Day!

When I started dating my husband, almost thirteen years ago, I came to understand reasonably quickly that he was no romantic.   This was a little disconcerting to me because I was used to, and naturally drawn to, players. Boys who knew just what to say; how to make me feel desirable and special.  Boys who almost certainly said the exact same things to many girls before me & after me.  What was different about Filip was that, every now and then, he would come out with things that would just blow me away.  He would just say what he was thinking and it would be so beautiful because it was spontaneous and heartfelt.  And not aimed at scoring brownie points.

That is how I define true romance.  Not necessarily, gestures that aren't gestures, merely actions and words.  After all, it is nice knowing that someone is purposefully trying to make you smile.  But I see romance in spontaneity, in originality, in the little things that say "Your happiness is important to me".  The little things that say "I know you."

To me, Valentine's Day is the antithesis to all that.  It is commercial, generic, insincere, lazy and a farce.  And I think it awful that men be bullied into it & women brainwashed to feel that this is the day than men show them how much they love them.  They show us everyday.  You just have to pay attention.  Discounted chocolates and obscenely priced roses mean nothing.  While they might not dare to say it out loud, I'm pretty sure most men hate Valentine's Day.  I know single women do.  Any decent restaurant hates being fully-booked with tables of two, that traditionally don't spend very much and tip even worse.  To those who cherish this day, please don't see this as an attack.  It's not.  What I'm saying is you are worth so much more than pre-packaged sentiment.  And so is he.

As the years went by, our relationship and our feelings for each other have gotten a lot more complicated & Filip has learned to play the game more. He now says things to deliberately flatter me, and to wind me up.  But he remains a genuine, open-minded person with a big heart who loves me for who I am, even though I drive him crazy.  I'm a very lucky girl, all year round.