Sunday, March 6, 2011

Waiting Expectantly..

We are going to have a baby.  And now that we're going to have a baby, we need a car with a backseat.  Preferably a station wagon with a boot for the dog can sit in, so that she doesn't lick the baby's face as it is held captive in its specially designed and designated seat.  Our parents assure us that we need to buy a house, especially as the one we rent has been deemed not appropriate.  I need new clothes as I pretty much wear the same outfit, outside of work, day in and day out.  I did recently buy 3 new dresses for work as my suits were cutting my swelling body in half (my mother put money into my account for my birthday for that specific purpose) & now I just wear these in rotation; each one for 5 days straight. I almost always feel I need a haircut.  I almost always feel I need some beauty treatment or another. I need to exercise the dog more though I would really like to be able to afford to send her back to daycare so that someone else can do it.  I need to learn how to drive.  I need to learn how to cook or to be motivated to cook.  I need to get out of debt so that we can get a mortgage.  (With our parents' help, of course.)

I am not unhappy.  Far from it.  This baby was planned & we are really looking forward to meeting it in another 6 months or so.  I was not unhappy before that.  But I live in a constant state of not being enough.  Of not having enough.  Of feeling so frumpy.  Of being on hold.  Of waiting for my life to get on track.  Of waiting to not be a financial burden to my husband. I am not standing still or moving backwards but progress is sometimes so slow as to not be discernible to the human eye. At least in this one way, I am indispensable. And quite a number of people are currently quite pleased with me.  For a change.


  1. congratulations on the baby ! I would be surprised if your hubby saw you as a financial burden, most men believe what's theirs is their partners also :)

  2. Congratulations. I see it is neccessary a lot of money to have a baby and your mind is filling of questions and doubts but... a new little person for being loved! We would also like to have a baby but my wife are living in another country and we can only be together a few days. Maybe I would have to give up my job and go with her. Maybe... Congratulations again and please, give a kiss from me to your baby...

  3. Great post Angeline!
    Its natural to feel the way you do, especially when your expecting. I know you and Phil will do an amazing job bringing up an amazing kid.
    love love love


  4. You are all so nice! But yes, Joe, my husband does consider me a financial burden but knows I am trying my best to get back in the black. And I have actually been feeling this way about money for a long time ever since I finally took reducing my debt seriously. The baby may very well put on extra pressure later when I take time off work, etc, but I'm pretty confident that eager grandparents will be happy to help out with baby preparations. And we are not too proud for (styley) hand-me-downs :)
    I can't wait!

  5. Bought a 2001 Alteeza Gita today from an auction - love it! And also just consolidated over half my debt. Bank offered Filip a pre-approved loan at a much lower rate than I would be offered & I will be the one paying it off as well as my remaining cards. Will be paying about the same amount monthly toward my debt. But I will be making MUCH faster progress.

  6. Got my learner's licence today! (At 37 y.o.)
    Won't learn to drive until after baby is born. Probably not until ages after. But you know... baby steps...